Enabling Is Not Loving
March 15th, 2018
Consistently trying to save or rescue a person we love who continues to make poor choices is not love. This is enabling. If we don’t stop enabling these people and stop playing the role of their emotional dumping ground, they can never grow in their own lives. Even though the people we enable know very clearly we’re not a fan of their choices, by allowing them to continue to use us for emotional support when they’re not willing to change is really them using us, it is not them loving us. These types of relationships usually come to a bitter end because we cannot tolerate the incessant complaining with no actions taken to remedy what they’re composing about. They get mad at us for not continuing to support them. They don’t want to hear or take any of the healthy advice we offer because it goes against the unhealthy decisions they want to make. The person we’re enabling wants to believe that in time things will change for the better in their situation. The best thing to do here is to take a step back. Let them know that as much as you love them, you’re clear you cannot help them. Changing their lives has to be fully up to them and you are no longer willing to allow them to talk you in circles, consume your time and leaving you feeling like the bad person for giving them healthy boundaries.
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Enabling Is Not Loving
March 15th, 2018
Consistently trying to save or rescue a person we love who continues to make poor choices is not love. This is enabling. If we don’t stop enabling these people and stop playing the role of their emotional dumping ground, they can never grow in their own lives. Even though the people we enable know very clearly we’re not a fan of their choices, by allowing them to continue to use us for emotional support when they’re not willing to change is really them using us, it is not them loving us. These types of relationships usually come to a bitter end because we cannot tolerate the incessant complaining with no actions taken to remedy what they’re composing about. They get mad at us for not continuing to support them. They don’t want to hear or take any of the healthy advice we offer because it goes against the unhealthy decisions they want to make. The person we’re enabling wants to believe that in time things will change for the better in their situation. The best thing to do here is to take a step back. Let them know that as much as you love them, you’re clear you cannot help them. Changing their lives has to be fully up to them and you are no longer willing to allow them to talk you in circles, consume your time and leaving you feeling like the bad person for giving them healthy boundaries.
To leave a comment about this post and for a more interactive experience, please like, follow, and join the conversation on my Facebook page.
Enabling Is Not Loving
March 15th, 2018
Consistently trying to save or rescue a person we love who continues to make poor choices is not love. This is enabling. If we don’t stop enabling these people and stop playing the role of their emotional dumping ground, they can never grow in their own lives. Even though the people we enable know very clearly we’re not a fan of their choices, by allowing them to continue to use us for emotional support when they’re not willing to change is really them using us, it is not them loving us. These types of relationships usually come to a bitter end because we cannot tolerate the incessant complaining with no actions taken to remedy what they’re composing about. They get mad at us for not continuing to support them. They don’t want to hear or take any of the healthy advice we offer because it goes against the unhealthy decisions they want to make. The person we’re enabling wants to believe that in time things will change for the better in their situation. The best thing to do here is to take a step back. Let them know that as much as you love them, you’re clear you cannot help them. Changing their lives has to be fully up to them and you are no longer willing to allow them to talk you in circles, consume your time and leaving you feeling like the bad person for giving them healthy boundaries.
To leave a comment about this post and for a more interactive experience, please like, follow, and join the conversation on my Facebook page.
